On hope

Hope is what I have.
I can't see it.
My evidence is my belief
In the possibility.

It can happen
So I hope.

Would it take a miracle?
Yep.

Who cares besides me?
No one.
No humans.
Just me.

But I hope.
I must hope.

It is this cave
This place
This secret
This wall
This smile
This stiff upper lip.

No drama
No problems
Right?
It's better.
Game face is on.
Walk
Work
Function.

Be normal
Be pleasant
Be there
Be calm.

The mask works.
No one cares
While no one knows.

But I have Hope.
I do have hope.
I must have hope.

No hope means no life.
No hope means darkness.
No hope means futility.
No hope means grief.

So I hope.

Hope fights sorrow
Hope fights rage
Hope fights desperation
Hope fights bitterness

So I must hope.
I CAN HOPE
Because I have faith.

Faith breeds Hope
Faith breeds Strength
Faith gives Possibility life.

And Faith brings meaning from insanity, from loneliness, from sickness, from death.

I have hope
Blessed hope
Forever hope

I won't stay knocked down

I have been knocked down.
I refuse to stay knocked down
No one, no thing is going to put me under without a fight.
I stand

I stand
defiantly
in spite of
though bowed down
though bent
And I will stand straight again soon.
I may be battered
I may be cut
I may be bruised
I may be momentarily down.
BUT I WILL NOT STAY DOWN!!

I will not run
I will not hide
I will stand
facing forward
defiantly
in spite of
though fearing
though hurting
I WILL STAND
even if it seems foolish
even if it seems hopeless
even if others leave
even if I'm ridiculed.

And I will change

I will get stronger
though weak now
I will be joyful
though grief beckons
I will be giving
if I have but a penny and song
I will be me
not hardened
not toughened
not spiteful
not mean
I WILL HOLD TO GOD's vision of me

You may push my buttons
but I will sing a song
You may try to name me
but I will keep my God-given name
You may knock me down
but I will get back up.

This I choose.
This is the choice God gave me.
I choose to live.
I choose to stand.